I apologize...

My pessimistic thoughts have taken over my mind so much these past years. In all honesty, i have never had a girl love me as you do. They all gave up on me *broke up with me* because of so many different reasons. I.E. distance, too bland and boring, and because loss of interest. It's so hard for me to just Accept that you DO love me as much as i love you. So, as i eased my body into water, i slipped and drowned. I love you more than anything right now, and my bad thoughts get to me at times. I know you want to reassure me and make me believe that you love me so much, but i've been behind this wall for so long that i'm afraid of being shot down again. Not saying i haven't let down my guard for you or anything, but for some odd reason i cannot come to a sure YES... It's like i'm afraid to for some reason. I'm afraid of giving my heart to someone, but yet i already have... I don't know what i'm talking about... It's so hard to explain... So in short form, I still am not sure. I'm not sure if you have such unconditional love like i have for you... But i'm being shown how much you DO love me.. i dont know babe. i want to say you're the one for me and that my search is done, so Can you please help myself come to ease? I just need to know for sure that i can put my ALL into you.