For some reason, i cannot cry right now. I hurt, ache, and bleed, but i cannot conjure up the full sensation of crying. These tearducts fill up but do not let out a steady stream of liquid. I was told tonight that if you were worth my time, you'd deal with the one more year until we finally got to be together in the same place at the same time. You didn't strike either of them as that kind of person to leave me for one event that didn't go our way. I'm given a compromise to bust my xss one more year and prove to them that i can deal with living down there my senior year...
"I doubt that"
doubt, it hurt when you said that. I don't doubt myself. I don't doubt you. I don't doubt that i can deal with the "Work load" that they give us. I'm not stupid, and you tell me that i'm not. So, why doubt the fact that i have the oppurunity to be there with you? I'm willing to give up senior year here to spend it there with you. Thus, going to homecoming with you, Prom, senior ditch day, and any other chance we get to spend together. It's what i want, and if you doubt that i'm going to move down there my senior year, FOR YOU... then why did i go through with trying my hardest to convice my parents to let me move this upcoming year?
I love you, i love you so much that i'm willing to give up a lot for you. I hold you close; closer than any other friend or past relationship. I want to love you for as long as my heart beats. I know we're young, and i know we make some choices right then and now because it's what we want... But sometimes we have to think about the future our choices bestow upon us. Please, spare one more year. I know it'll be tough, but I'm willing to do it. Please support me into getting to that point where I can spend every waking minute with you. Please. Stay with me.
& now the tears flow.
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